All through life I’ve had crushes on guys I never got..many seemed promising but somehow it just never happened. This has stopped me from getting better guys who fell at my feet...the problem was they just weren’t the guy I was dreaming about at the time. I spent years on one guy-daydreaming, living for the moment I’d get to glance at them again, and lived on the look, the smile, the handshake, the kiss, the words, the dance that they would give me. This gave me the adrenaline to continue with my quest, spending hours reliving that moment, and boring my friends in the meantime. Now this is great when you are 15 although you burn the best years of your life and it is also ok to have a fleeting crush at 25-it spices up your days..and then you move on to real life. But to spend 5 years on a daydream at a time when you just can’t afford to do that is criminal. Stupid. And I realised today-that’s just what I’ve been doing. Almost 5 years down the line and I think about him morning, noon and night..at this time now I’m hurting myself bad as the hope there was up to 6 months ago has gone. The expiry date was somewhere at the end of summer when (at least that’s what I heard) he was getting married-to the girl who had been at the back of this make-believe relationship all along-but who never seemed to exist. Neither me nor my friends have ever set eyes on her-seemed like she was..IS just a figment of someone’s imagination. Instead this ghost has stolen my hopes, my dreams for a beautiful future and the reason why I’ve spent the past 5 years dreaming...it was ME he had eyes for, ME he looked for wherever we were, ME he held closely while dancing and ME he wanted..instead SHE got the prize. Damn her. So I figured, Ok-move on..if nothing else-to another daydream. So I did..I went back in time-to an enchanted land far far away where a Prince fell in love with a Princess, but the Princess realised just when it was too late that she was also in love with him, all because she was daydreaming about someone else-a toad. The toad never happened (thank God) but the Prince now was gone. Could it be that after 10 years the Prince and Princess find each other and fall into each other’s arms and live happily ever after?  Sounds far fetched..but the Princess daydreams that it will happen someday. Meantime in the real world..the boy that the Princess replaced keeps popping up in the most unlikeliest of places-making her go back a step or two. Why would fate do this? Isn’t it enough that she’s lost-does she have to keep having it rubbed in her face? It’s like “Hey, Babe, I wasn’t just a daydream-I exist-and you lost”... I always hated reality because it was cold and grey while daydreams are rainbow coloured but now I wish that somewhere over the rainbow there's a beautiful reality waiting for me with just a hint of colour...